Even When It Hurts

Steven had four wisdom teeth extracted yesterday. When I left him in the exam room and headed toward the waiting room, he was happy and chatting with the nurses. Then when I was called back to the recovery area, this is what I found.

Of course, through my maternal eyes, I saw my 17-year-old son as a vulnerable little 4-year-old boy.  He was still under the effects of the anesthesia and was just beginning to wake up. The nurse came in and put an ice pack on his head and without opening his eyes, he said some words that I could not understand because of the anesthesia and the gauze in his mouth. As the nurse walked away, I asked him to repeat what he said thinking he needed something or maybe was in pain. He still didn't open his eyes, but said very slowly so I could understand, “I said, Thank you so much.” And it caught me up short for a moment. I didn't expect his first words to be that of gratitude.

I stopped and thought about it for a moment and realized that ever since my boys were little, as soon as they were able to speak, I always made them thank the nurse or doctor when we went for doctor visits. It was difficult sometimes when they were little and needed a shot, but even through tear stained eyes, they would say, “Thank you.” I wanted them to trust me when it was unpleasant and know that even though it might hurt, it was for their best good. I wanted to teach them to be thankful to the medical professionals. My son Steven, unfortunately, has had more than his share of doctor visits and needle pokes; everything from allergy shots and blood draws to PICC lines. Even so, when Steven was hardly awake and his first words were that of gratitude, I was proud of him but also a little amazed.

Thinking about that later, I realized that this picture is much like my own experience with pain and gratitude. Just as I teach my children to be thankful in spite of the pain, my Heavenly Father expects the same from me. Although life is sometimes difficult, He wants me to be thankful even though it hurts and trust Him that it is for my best good. I may never understand why Jim had to go so soon, and why I’m left with the pain and grief of missing him, but I do know that I serve a sovereign God who has the best in mind for me. So, I will continue to say thank you and trust my heavenly Father for what is best for me - just as my children have learned to trust me and be thankful even when it hurts.